I’m quite a shy person. I’m quite shy in an odd way- I am comfortable and thrive speaking in front of a crowd, but absolutely shrivel up and die if I have to talk to an individual. It’s completely backwards!
So, if people saw me being friendly and laughing in front of a crowd, then tried to speak to me and got absolutely NOTHING out of me, it’s safe to say they probably think I’m a stuck up so-and-so. You’d think that’s as awful as it could get… Until ‘Resting Bitch Face’ gets involved.
Anyone who suffers or know someone who suffers from ‘Resting Bitch Face’ knows the pain, anguish, and misunderstanding it causes. The symptoms are as follows-
😑 Natural frown or scowl when relaxed.
😑 Squinting or unexpected gurning
😑 The facial expression of a soldier in the middle of an Intergalactic Robot War- who is on the losing side
😑 Constant bombardment of ‘Are you ok?’, sometimes coming from strangers
😑 Accidentally making eye contact with someone and seeing fear light up in their eyes
😑 A nationwide sigh of relief when you finally let out a grin to show others you are a friendly.
😑 A pain in the eyebrows and cheeks when you smile, due to lack of muscle use.
If you experience 3 or more of these symptoms, you likely suffer from RBF. However, go to your local doctor of physician for a full facial analysis.
While there are many drawbacks to RBF, it can have some positives.
Ever been cat-called? Want to show the douchebags how you feel about being whistled or shouted at like a dog? Just turn around! Your Resting Bitch Face will do all the work, no effort required if you want to make a bitchy mad face!
Do you use public transport? Do you want to be left alone to listen to music, or read a book? Try Resting Bitch Face! You are INSTANTLY unapproachable! 60% of the time, it works everytime. (Anchorman reference, RBF actually works 96% of the time.)
Unfortunately, there is no cure to Resting Bitch Face. However, you can use extreme willpower to mask the effects of RBF when needed. It’s difficult, and requires a lot of concentration- but you can do it.
Shyness is also cured in a similar way. I’m gonna repeat some advice I’ve been given- go and talk to people. Get out of your comfort zone. If someone comes up to talk to you, great! But that won’t always happen. The worst that could happen is if they blank you and make fun of you. And to be honest, that is horrible. But at least you know you tried, and that you don’t need to make any effort with that douchebag again! This is advice I need to apply myself. And I will. I make a solemn oath, here on my blog that nobody reads, that I will GET OVER MY SHYNESS.
Go forth, my friends, and bitch face at those who deserve it, and smile at those who need it.