It’s officially been a year since I was hospitalised for a suicide attempt.

That sounds so horrible. There’s no good way to sugarcoat that, is there?

I won’t write any details about what I did, my ‘method’; this is for obvious reasons.

Since trying to kill myself, I’ve-

– Passed my AS levels with all A grades

– Been accepted into all universities I applied to, including my dream university

– Had jaw surgery and started to become more confident in my appearance

– Become closer with family members and created genuine friendships and fond memories

– Made new friends and started to have a social life

– Been the best damn aunty in the world to  7 wonderful children I don’t want to make deal with the news that ‘Aunty Meggy has gone up to heaven’.

Life has moved on- and it has moved fast. In between these wonderful things are the sadnesses, tears, and general setbacks on the road to recovery. But for once, I’m able to see some good is, and I am holding onto that.

I am still depressed. I still struggle as much as I did last year- perhaps more, but in a different way. Each new year brings an older, more mature Megan, and I’ve realised now my depression grows and changes with me. It is a contrast struggle, but I am almost glad for it, and for what I did last year-

I tried to kill myself 12 months ago. What a lot I would have missed had I been successful.

Happy New Year everybody xx

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